The Jewish and cinematic musings of the Rabbi of The Reform Temple of Rockland in Upper Nyack, New York.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Here are the lyrics to the rap I performed at our Greatest Hanukkah on Earth! Centennial Edition. Note: This is to the 'melody' of Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys And for those of you in Tucson who missed it. It is playing on Tucson Access. Check your local times and channels.
Now here's a little story I've got to tell Not about the Marx brothers you know so well It started way back in history With Eliezar, Shimon, and Judah Maccabee. The five had a father named Mattathias Told to worship an idol but he was pious Killed a Greek soldier, then turned and ran Greek posse on his tail cause he’s in demand One lonely Has-mo-knee All by himself without nobody The sun was beating down on his kehpee’s hat The air was gettin' hot, Dr. Browns was getting flat Lookin' for a dude he ran into a guy My name is Judah, he said, "Howdy" I said, "Hi"
He told a little story that sounded well rehearsed Four days out while schviting, and he's dying of thirst Antiochus was bad allowed moyels no tip Greeks were coming, chasing down, we tried not to trip He said, "Here they come" I said, "This is no fun" We had a chance to run Then fled to a mountain They were quick on the draw I thought we’d be dead They put the sword to our head and this is what they said,
"Now we’re armed Greek soldiers - We got a license to kills I think you know what time it is, this ain’t the catskills Now what do we have here a shmendrick and his dad We run this land, you understand don’t make me mad." What a klutz he plotzed, I took the sword, then had a grin You think this story's over but it's ready to begin
Now we got the sword and we’re both Jews We had two choices of what we could doos It's not a tough decision as you can see We could run away or we could fight totally I said, let’s ride together, attack ‘em from the border Antiochus after me for what I did to his temple I did it like this, I did it like that I did it with a meshuggenah bat So I'm on the run, but I’m the only one And right about now it's time to have some fun An-tio-chus that is his name I know the fly spot where he’ll soon be in pain." We rode for six hours then we hit the spot The beat was bumping and the night was hot This king was staring like he knows who we are We took the empty spot near him not too far the king said, "Yo, I know you kid?" I said, "No way." but I know he did Then I said, "Get ready cause this ain't funny The king’s a yutz and we’re gonna take his money.” Pulled out the slingshot aimed at the sky I yelled, "Stick 'em up!" and let two fly Hands went up and people hit the floor I smacked the king upside the head as he ran for the door "I’m Ju-dah. and I get respect My homeland back is what I expect" Eliazer was with it and he's my ace So I grabbed the menorah and I lit it in its place The king was out the music stopped The statue of Zeus well it got dropped Its time to spin the dreidel, here’s one made of gold Let’s celebrate Hanukkah on a night that’s cold.
Rabbi Sharff is the Senior Rabbi for The Reform Temple of Rockland in Upper Nyack, New York. He was raised in Houston, Texas where he discovered the acoustic and electric guitar while sitting in his dorm room one day. Rabbi Sharff graduated from the University of Texas and was ordained at the Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati.
Rabbi Sharff is the rhythm guitarist for RTR's in House Band, and he also served as the editor for Howard Salmon's z"l Comic Book Siddur.